


So Lost Without You

by Gothic_Fairy



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Forests, Joavin, Kevin can't live with Joaquin, Kevin's midnight walks, M/M, Reunion, Season 2, he's not important though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 23:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13798137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothic_Fairy/pseuds/Gothic_Fairy
Summary: Anonymous said:joavin prompt: maybe their reunion after Joaquin comes back to Riverdale? As fluffy or angsty as you like, but can it be a happy ending pls? thank you!





	So Lost Without You

It was late and it was dark. Kevin was quietly walking through the woods near Sweetwater River, bitter and a little gloomy. He was looking at the dancing leaves far up above his head and the little bit of soft moonlight that shone through them and into his eyes. He was slightly cold but continued a steady pace on the trail, telling himself that the shivers were from the icy breeze not the memories that kept coming up in his mind. 

He knew it was not the best decision to come here while the Black Hood still threatened to kill the sinners in Riverdale. But for some kind of a reason, everybody seemed too busy to notice he was gone anyway. He has never been too close with Jughead or Veronica for that matter but it hurt to see Archie and mostly Betty completely blind towards what was happening with him. He kept telling himself that they have more problems than to be concerned with his, Archie almost lost his father and Betty was obviously wrapped in another one of her little investigations, but that was exactly it. For years, he could be sure to have a place next to her at least as a helping hand to investigate but not anymore. He never felt this lonely. 

And then there was Joaquin. It’s been weeks since he saw him for the last time but that didn’t stop him from occasionally opening Joaquin’s contact in his phone just to make sure he didn’t get any messages or phone calls, or checking the mailbox every morning before his dad could go over the mail himself. The window in his bedroom remained unlocked despite the dangers of Riverdale and his daily midnight strolls through darkness were like a drug to Kevin. He couldn’t help himself but go there and walk in hopes of seeing a familiar face. 

At first it was all about the opposite. He told himself that he wanted to get over Joaquin and the best way was physical activity, being close to someone again. But soon he found out that it only made things worse because no one seemed to fit just like Joaquin did. And every time Kevin closed his eyes, he wished to open them to the image of raven hair and sea blue eyes staring at him. 

That’s what he was doing that night as well. He wanted to stop missing Joaquin but his mind kept bringing up the memory of Joaquin’s hands on his waist as he pushed him into the leather seats of his car, the smell of aftershave in Joaquin’s bathroom when they took a shower after a long night or the feeling of his hot and sweaty skin under Kevin’s palms. 

It was getting darker every minute and even the moon seemed to take a step behind heavy clouds, leaving Kevin in dimness so similar to the one in his heart. He was about to turn around, find his car and drive back home before his dad could come looking for him with the entire police department but he was stopped by a voice, the type of company he was not looking for tonight. 

“Hey, you! Right there!” the person said in a low and raspy tone, somewhere behind Kevin’s back. He totally didn’t sound like one of the guys Kevin sometimes met and hooked up with in this woods and the way he said those words made goosebumps appear on Kevin’s skin. But he was Kevin Keller after all, he could get out of this. Hopefully.

“Hi.” he answered with a wide smile, turning towards the man. “It’s a really pretty night, isn’t it?”

He couldn’t see much, just a shadowy outline of a tall man coming out from between the trees, much larger and taller than him. His heart was starting to beat faster and for the first time he realized what a mistake he was actually doing being out here all alone in the middle of the night. He should’ve let somebody know he was going for a walk or at least take a pepper spray from his father, dammit! It wouldn’t help against a murderer but it would give him a chance to escape or call for help. But it was too late.

“Up for some fun, pretty?” the man said as he approached him with long terrifying steps. Kevin wanted to run, the sane part of his head was yelling at him to listen to his father’s lessons and run but he was paralyzed, shocked to the point he almost forgot how to breathe. 

“Um, actually..” he chuckled, trying to remain calm. “I was on my way home, my father is waiting for me. He’s probably already freaking out.” 

But that didn’t stop the man, the silent threat of someone knowing if Kevin went missing. He put his right hand into the pocket of his leather jacket and Kevin followed the motion with his eyes, imagining all the tools he could be reaching for right this second. 

However, before the man could take one more step towards Kevin, there was another person that suddenly appeared in the corner of Kevin’s vision. 

“Leave him be, Brody.” he said threateningly, making Kevin swiftly turn towards him and freeze on the spot, his eyes going wide. Not only did the silky voice match the sweet memories that whispered into Kevin’s ear every night as he was falling asleep, the face was there too. The sharp collar bones he used to kiss every morning to say hello, the prominent brow bones that hid deep piercing stare of the eyes that haunted Kevin for so long. He was still wearing the Serpent jacket and his favorite ripped jeans with a plain white tee. Kevin remembered all the times he tried to make him wear some more colors, something to spice up that wardrobe. It came to him like a slap to his face to see Joaquin in front of him again, so real and beautiful. 

“He’s protected by the Serpents, or have you forgotten that?” he continued in the same tone, not giving Kevin any attention and keeping his gaze fixed on the other man. His posture was strict and cold, his back muscles tense and ready for a fight. He looked dangerous, more dangerous than Kevin has ever seen him. He looked in a better shape than when he left Riverdale which somehow made Kevin even more uneasy. There were no bruises on his face nor scratches on his body the way they used to be all the time after the Serpent business. He was supposed to be on the run, what made him come back? Why would he risk spending the rest of his life behind prison bars? 

“He used to be, you mean.” the man exclaimed and stood up opposite of Joaquin, leaning over him. “He was protected by the Serpents as long as his pretty ass served a purpose for us. Sheriff’s son.” he spitted out as if judging Joaquin for ever taking on the role by Kevin’s side. He didn’t even realize that for the most part, Joaquin truly had feelings for Kevin. Or that’s what he said anyway. 

“He’s still under my protection. And I’m still a Serpent so back off.” Joaquin’s eyes finally found Kevin’s in the dark but the look in them was cold and distant, a second maybe two before they came back to the man. 

For a moment, it seemed that Brody would stand up against Joaquin’s words and there seemed to be some kind of a silent conversation going between them. But after long minutes, Brody shook his head, grumbled something under his breath and looked at Kevin for the last time. 

“I’ll see you next time, pretty. You traitor boyfriend won’t be here forever.” he threatened, his disgusting grin seeping through Kevin and creating a sickening image in Kevin’s head of what might have happened if Joaquin didn’t come in the right time. 

“He won’t bother you anymore.” Joaquin said, contradicting Brody’s words as the man disappeared in the shadows the same way he came. 

Joaquin’s face was turned the other way and Kevin didn’t know what to answer, how to react to him. He had so many questions and the part of him that still loved Joaquin wanted to come up to him and take him into his arms, kiss him with everything he had. 

“Why are you here?” he said instead with the same coldness he saw in Joaquin’s eyes. He was a criminal after all, Kevin tried to remind himself. He helped cover a murder and lied to him so many times. He wanted to use him to get information and then probably leave him the second Kevin was to no use anymore. That’s what he kept telling himself at least. 

“The bench warrant was taken down by someone. I don’t know what exactly happened but they’re not looking for me anymore.” Joaquin looked at Kevin softer this time, watching the traces of tears that were about to fall down Kevin’s cheeks. 

“That’s not what I asked. Why are you here?” Kevin repeated, swallowing hard. He was shaking as he added in a whisper: “Why did you come back?” 

Joaquin brought a hand up to cover his face and run his fingers through his hair. He suddenly looked tired, his shoulders were slouching down and his brows frowned at Kevin. He was standing only a couple of feet away but it felt as if there was a gaping hole between their bodies, too large to get over. 

“I couldn’t stay away..” Joaquin breathed out, focusing his stare at Kevin. “I tried to. I’ve been back for days and I haven’t shown myself to you at all. I knew you were doing fine and I didn’t want to come and destroy your world again. I only came because I saw Brody walking to you and I knew he’d only mean trouble. But you’ll be save from him now on, which means that I’ll go too. If that’s what you want.” 

Kevin was silent for a long time, seemed frozen on his feet, trembling from cold and the mix of emotions that was happening inside of him. Joaquin took that as a sign it was time to leave and started to backtrack to his bike on the edge of the forest.

“I wasn’t. “ Kevin finally said, so quietly that Joaquin almost didn’t hear those words leave his lips. “I wasn’t doing fine. I’m not doing fine now either.” 

Kevin was shaking his head and he clenched his fist to keep himself from crying but it didn’t have much effect for there were already little streams rolling down from his eyes.

“Preppy?” Joaquin called him with the old nickname and it made a bitter laugh emerge from Kevin’s lungs. Joaquin was closer now, so close Kevin could reach out with his hand and let himself be guided to Joaquin’s loving arms but he didn’t. Not yet. 

“I thought.. that you were be better off without me. Without the Serpents breathing down you neck.” Joaquin said, trying to catch Kevin’s gaze with his own.

Kevin was torn. He knew that Joaquin was right, that Betty and everybody else was right. There was no place for gangs in Kevin’s world and he should let Joaquin go, let him hide, forget about him once and for all. But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to.

“I’m just so.. lost.” he said aloud. “So lost when you’re not here. I’m so lost without you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, dear anon! Here you go, hope you like it! ^^ I made it more on the angsty side because I personally don’t think things would go straight to unicorns and rainbows as soon as Joaquin would be back at Riverdale, more like the exact opposite, but there is still a kind of a happy ending. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Come say hi? - [Promt Me/Ask Me](https://gothic--fairy.tumblr.com/ask)


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